Today is Abbie’s 12th birthday, where on earth has the time gone? I remember clearly the 110 mile trip to be at the hospital when her mum was in labour and the anxious wait until the nurse brought her out and she was handed to me. It does make me feel ancient though, I remember feeling old when my children got to secondary school age but this is my grandchild! Do I feel old enough to have a 12 year old grandchild? Mentally NO, physically YES!
I’m sitting here waiting for her to wake up so she can open her presents and my mind is working overtime. I had so many things I wanted to do and now I just see myself sat stagnating, feeling like I have achieved very little and the years are going nowhere. I brought up 3 children of my own (not very successfully or I wouldn’t have custody of 2 of my grandchildren) and now is supposed to be time for me and my husband, but it’s not. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret the situation we are in, it’s really nice being such a big part in their lives (most days anyway) but I feel we’ll be too old to get what we want by the time they are adults.
One of the hardest things is finding people to talk to who understand. We have very little in common with people who have children the same age as they tend to be 20/30 years younger than us. But, we also have little in common with people the same age who have raised their families and are now enjoying their new found freedom.
This isn’t the vision we had planned once the (first lot of) children had left home, but it’s what we’ve got and we will work through it, like we always do.